Fear of Screwing Up

Is fear of screwing up holding you back?

It was holding my client back in spite of her already being really, really successful.

She’s known around the world in her field and has been featured on international stages.

International!

Yet the fear of making a mistake had her refusing to let her talks be recorded. Keeping her playing smaller than she could.

She was afraid of making a mistake and having it out in the world. Forever.

And she was days away from having her presentation recorded.

She’d committed.

No backing out.

And she was scared of screwing it up.

Watch the video to hear more.

(Spoiler alert: she did great!)

If you have a fear of screwing something up—like posting a video or doing some public speaking (which is America’s biggest phobia, by the way)—you’ve probably heard that the way to get past it is to just do the thing. Whatever it is.

Because then you’ll realize it wasn’t so terrible and you won’t be as afraid the next time.

Good advice.

And if you can just do that, then go for it!

But if you can’t just make yourself do the thing—if you’re toooooo afraid to push through—then use some tapping.

Tapping can make all the difference. (I’ve seen that happen over and over.)

Because when you’ve tapped down your fear of screwing up, you can just get out there and do the thing.

Whatever it is.

Screwing up doesn’t seem like such a big deal after all.

You’ll start thinking “If I make a mistake, so what?!

People need me to get out there.

Even if I make mistakes along the way.

So let’s get you out there in a bigger way, helping those you’re here to reach.

Don’t let fear of screwing up get in your way.

Happy Tapping!

—Nancy

Why Imposter Syndrome Strikes Women More

Imposter Syndrome (that feeling that you’re not as capable as others see you) really seems to hold women back more than men.

Why should that be?

Well, I have some theories.

Watch the video for the full exploration of why women seem to struggle with Imposter Syndrome more than men—
where it comes from and why it’s so persistent.

From my own experience with clients, I’ve seen it come from personal experiences:

  • There was the client whose parents made it clear she was not supposed to outshine her brother.
  • Then there were the clients who created their own businesses after being passed over for promotion in favor of men one too many times.
  • And far too often, there was the implicit message (especially from their mothers) that they should not speak up, be seen, or stand out, that led them to doubt themselves.

There’s also the messages we’ve all gotten from growing up seeing boys and men in leadership roles in schools, sports, TV and movies, companies, government….

Well, you get the idea.

And all of these experiences set us women up to doubt ourselves, hold ourselves back, and step aside to let men do the leading.

That has to stop.

We need women to lead now more than ever.

(Look, I love men and happily work with some wonderful men who are doing important work in their lives and the world. But this message is for women.)

It’s time to step back from the competitive, Us v. Them, Win/Lose approaches that have brought so much suffering and limitation.

And I think women leaders are the answer.

So when you feel like you are called to do something bigger in the world, but you hold yourself back because you feel like you’re not good enough to do that, or someone else would be better, or “they’d find out you were a fraud” if you tried . . .

Don’t listen to that feeling.

It’s just a young part of you that learned that you were supposed to stay small so you’d be safe.

Staying small won’t really keep you safe. (You know that.)

It sure as hell won’t bring about the change that you are called to make in the world.

That only you can make!

And if your Imposter Syndrome is particularly loud and hard to ignore, tap on its messages. They aren’t true, and Tapping can help you realize that.

Because we need you to show up fully in the world, being the you that you are truly meant to be.

Happy Tapping!

-Nancy

What I Learned about Imposter Syndrome from Getting Slapped Upside the Head By the Universe

Two weeks ago I talked about Imposter Syndrome.

Last week, the Universe laughed at me.

Watch my video to see what I learned from my own bout of Imposter Syndrome.

It was the beginning of a 24-hour virtual event put on by Harvard Alumni Entrepreneurs.

I figured “I’m an alum of the law school. I started my own business. These are my people!

Boy, was that not how it felt.

As soon as I walked in the virtual “room” it hit me. These are real entrepreneurs. They are creating new apps. Talking to angel investors. Launching businesses they’ll sell for gazillions.

Not me. I don’t belong.

I’m a fraud.

And they’re going to find me out.

Look down on me.

Laugh at me.

Wow.

So I said my goodbyes and left quickly.

Let me be clear. Everyone I talked to was lovely. This was me. I was the one telling myself I didn’t belong. Telling myself I wasn’t good enough.

It was a total inside job.

Frankly, it was embarrassing.

I’m in the middle of exploring how Imposter Syndrome hits women leaders especially hard and explaining what to do about it.

Just do it anyway, I’d said. Eventually you’ll realize you are good enough, I’d said. And if that’s too hard, then just tap, I’d said.

I had it figured out.

And there I was. Totally caving to my own Imposter Syndrome.

So I took my own medicine. Went back into the event the next night. (I felt much better.)

I posted about my experiences in Facebook and was overwhelmed by the support I got.

Watch the video for the whole embarrassing story.

I learned a lot from this experience that I want to share.

First, it’s normal to feel like a fraud sometimes.

Second, many really successful women feel like an imposter sometimes. Having the feeling doesn’t mean you are not successful or capable of success.

And most importantly: if you feel like an imposter, know that it is not true.

Please don’t give into that feeling.

The world needs you.

Happy Tapping!

—Nancy

What the News Is Doing To Your Old Money Stories

Have you noticed how all the bad economic news has activated you these days? My clients and I definitely have!

All the big lay-offs, so many small businesses going under, a tidal wave of unemployment—it’s bringing up a lot of fear and feelings of lack. And it’s activating old money stories.

When that happens, our negative feelings start running the show, affecting how we show up, what we do (or don’t do), and basically messing with our finances.

I go into more detail here.

Maybe you have one or more old money stories that is getting triggered now, something like:

  • I don’t deserve more.
  • Making money is too hard.
  • I’m no good with money.
  • There’s never enough.

If so, you’re probably not enjoying what you’re seeing in your financial picture.

When you’re seeing that kind of hit on your finances, one of the best things to do is to really clear out those limiting stories you have around money so you can get back in charge. 

The best way to do that is with EFT—or “Tapping.”

To get some help with that, check out my Money Blocks BlockBuster Group, which is starting up again Friday, May 15, 2020. In each session we have group tapping on common money blocks as well as individual hotseats where we focus on your specific money stories so you can release and replace them.

For more information go to https://unblockresults.com/the-money-blocks-blockbuster-program/

Or just reach out to me at Nancy@UnblockResults.com. We’ll set up a call at no charge to figure out what your money story is and see if the group is right for you.

Don’t wait too long, though. There are only eight places total, and it’s already filling up. We start on Friday, May 15th—just a little over a week away. And I won’t offer another one until the Fall.

The Science Behind Tapping

Someone recently asked me to talk about the science behind EFT/Tapping. It’s a question that doesn’t come up too often, but—being the research nerd I am—I was happy to explain what the science shows now.

Check out my new video about how Tapping works and the science behind it.

In the video I describe some of the research about Tapping and how it works. I also apply the theories to the work I do to explain how I think it makes the big changes it does for my clients.

Some of the examples I use show the changes to my clients’ blocks to allowing more money in and keeping it around. It is truly amazing for me to see the changes in my clients’ lives and their futures!

When you’re ready to create the financial life you want, email me to set up a call to talk about what’s going on with you and see if the Money Blocks BlockBuster Group is a fit for you.

When a Reeeaaaaalllly Old Story Is Holding You Back

This one is pretty weird, I have to admit. But it’s come up for me and a number of clients, so I put together this video to tell you a bit about how a strange kind of “inheritance” caused me to procrastinate and what I did about it.

You might have a similar cause of procrastination if:

  • You’ve taken care of everything you can think of and something is still holding you back,
  • You feel like there’s an odd energy that gets in the way of your taking action,
  • There’s a story of someone in your family who was prevented from reaching their big goal or goals.

If any of that sounds like you (or you’re just curious), watch the video to find out more about what this is and how to take care of it.

Don’t let someone else’s story stop you! When you’re ready to stop procrastinating and create the life you are meant to live, email me. We’ll set up a call to talk about what’s going on with you and see if I can help.

You Have to Meet Julie!

If lack of self-confidence is keeping you from going after the life you want, you have to meet Julie. She’s a smart woman with a mission to change the world.

When she began working with me, Julie was just starting her business providing Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) to children on the Autism Spectrum and their families. RDI helps children on the spectrum form personal relationships, develop the ability to think flexibly and improve their quality of life.

Julie was just finishing intensive training to be certified in using RDI. She knew it worked. She knew she could improve the lives of children and their families enormously. But she wasn’t getting her business out into the world. She was questioning herself, afraid to ask for money, and allowing herself to be stopped by fear. She was holding herself back.

So we got to work. Now she is able to speak about what she does much more naturally, without the fear. She is making connections that will help her reach more people. And she has clients starting with her.

As we worked together, the changes in her were so noticeable they even turned her husband from a skeptic about this weird EFT stuff I do into a fan who was happy to take over childcare whenever she had a session with me!

Julie gives a lot of credit for all these changes to doing EFT/Tapping with me. In fact, I’ll toot my own horn here and quote Julie, who said: “You have to work with Nancy to get past the blocks that have been holding you back. I think where I am now would not be possible without my work with Nancy.”

Watch the video to hear from Julie herself.

I’m so impressed by Julie. She has worked so hard and is finally poised to make a huge difference for so many people. You Go Girl!

When you’re ready to stop procrastinating and create the life you are meant to live, email me. We’ll set up a call to talk about what’s going on with you and see if I can help.