Gatherings with family and friends to plan and attend.
Oh, and you have a business to keep running, too? Good luck with that!
Actually, it doesn’t have to be so stressful.
No, I’m not talking about chucking it all and flying to the Bahamas. (Although that does sound intriguing.)
This is about lowering your stress levels so you can enjoy what’s happening around you.
And when your stress comes down, you start to think clearer. Make better decisions for you and your business.
Like, maybe you don’t have to make Aunt Edna’s brussels sprouts this year.
Or you don’t have to get involved with the usual family drama. After all, you could use that time and energy to make a big year-end offer.
How, you say?
Just tap along with my video.
The women leaders in my MVP Clubs asked for it. They know they do so much better in their businesses when they bring down the stress in their personal lives. Then they can focus on what really matters.
I wanted to share it with you, too.
Tap along with it as often as you need to. So you can have an easier, more relaxed December.
Someone asked me what’s the best advice I can give to a business owner.
It didn’t take me long to answer. It’s the advice I wish someone had given me so I wouldn’t have spent years wondering why I wasn’t making any headway with my business.
Here it is: Fix your subconscious before you try to do anything else.
Here’s why you want to change your subconscious first.
I’ve seen it over and over again—someone shells out a huge amount of money for a program that promises to teach them how to grow their business.
Then, a few weeks—or even days—in, they realize they’re stuck.
There’s nothing wrong with the program. It’s just that they’re not following through on it.
Not taking a specific action the program calls for,
Or “pulling their punch” by doing what they’re supposed to, but doing it poorly,
Or procrastinating in general, doing everything but the program they paid so much for.
They’re perfectly capable of following through on the program. They’re just not doing it. Or doing it slooooooowly.
Something in their subconscious got triggered.
So they’re out all that time and money with little to show for it.
But when they get rid of what is in the way first, they follow through on what will get them the business they want. Easily.
(Even entrepreneurs who seem to have it all together struggle with this. I know because I’ve worked with some. They come in doing well, but knowing they could do better. Once we start releasing subconscious blocks they start hitting their bigger goals.)
If any of this sounds like you, I want you to know it doesn’t mean you’re a bad business owner.
It doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It doesn’t mean the Universe is trying to give you a message that you’re not meant for that kind of success.
It just means you have something in your subconscious that has been getting triggered when you go after your goals. And you can change that.
Please find a way to clear out your subconscious.
Whether with me or with someone else.
Whether through Tapping or another modality.
Change your subconscious.
Do it before you spend a lot of time and money on something you can’t bring yourself to follow through on.
The world needs you to step up in a bigger way but…
You can’t do that when your subconscious is holding you back.
(By the way, in the video I talk about the next MVP Club for women leaders who know they’re meant for more. I’m afraid it’s all sold out now. But there’ll be another one—promise. I’ll tell you more in a bit.)
When you realize that there’s something inside of you holding you and your business back, it can be totally frustrating.
You can also start blaming yourself.
It’s just a subconscious success block that you internalized without realizing it that’s been getting in your way.
A subconscious successblock is a message or rule in your subconscious that is sabotaging your conscious plans for your business.
Everyone has internalized rules and beliefs in their subconscious. Some are actually helpful, like don’t walk alone down dark alleys; some…not so much.
But how do those success blocks get into your subconscious in the first place?
You can usually trace them back to old programming that came from—
Explicit messages spoken to or around you,
Implicit messages from what you observed,
Decisions you made from experiences you had.
I describe several subconscious success blocks and where they came from in the video:
Often they come from messages and observations in childhood.
Sometimes they are internalized warnings from something powerful that happened in adulthood.
Sometimes these messages were internalized from religion, the media, or the community around you.
But no matter where they come from, no amount of willpower, or logic, can fully get beyond these once they’re in your subconscious.
They will at least take energy to push past. Energy you could use for something better.
If you don’t want to be slowed down or stopped by your own subconscious, you need to dig those blocks up and release them.
That’s what I do both with my one-on-one clients and in my MVP Clubs—small groups of women leaders who know they’re meant for more where we identify and tap to release blocks in the areas of Mindset, Visibility, and Profitability.
(By the way, in the video I talk about the next MVP Club. I’m afraid it’s all sold out now. But there’ll be another one—promise. I’ll tell you more in a bit.)
So if you realize that you’re holding your business back, look for the subconscious blocks getting in your way and release them.
To get some help with that, just reach out. We’ll talk about what’s going on with you, what’s getting in your way, and if Tapping is a fit.
Do you have an old patriarchal rule getting in the way of making, keeping or managing your money?
In the video I identify several, then walk you through a way to test each one to see if it’s in your subconscious:
Women often have an outdated rule or two about money from the Patriarchy rattling around in their subconscious.
Messing with their profitability.
Pretty much any rule that has “a man” or “men” in it probably has its roots in the Patriarchy. A really common one is “I shouldn’t make more than a man.”
You might also find the Patriarchy behind any rule that contains “a woman” or “women.” Like “Women can’t handle money well.”
Then there’s my favorite, “I should be taken care of by a man.” This one has tripped up more independent, confident clients than any of us ever expected.
Now, none of these powerful women consciously agree with any of these sexist, misogynistic statements.
They reject them. Absolutely.
But there they are, hiding out in their subconscious.
Luckily, once we’ve found one we can tap and release it for good.
Ready to discover some Patriarchal Profitability rules in your own subconscious?
Here’s how I do that with my clients.
First, I come up with a list of possible subconscious rules that might be getting in a client’s way.
I have my client repeat each one and rate it on a scale of 0-100 percent for how true or powerful it feels. (0=no power to it at all; 100=it feels totally true, even though you know it’s not.)
The higher the number, the more powerfully it’s holding you back.
There are different ways to get your rating: (i) emotionally—”it feels 82% true”; (ii) physically—like a punch in the gut or heaviness in your body that “feels 75% powerful”; or (iii) if you’re like me, you just have a number pop into your head and accept that as your rating.
Okay, here we go.
Read each statement from this list of a few common patriarchal profitability blocks out loud. (That makes a difference.) Then give it a rating from 0-100 percent for how true or powerful it feels to you.
“I shouldn’t make more than a man”
“I shouldn’t make more than my father.” [You can substitute “my brother” or another male relative.]
“Women can’t make more than men.”
“Women shouldn’t make more than men.”
“I don’t need to make as much as a man.”
“No one will love me if I make too much.”
“I should be taken care of by a man.”
“Women aren’t good with numbers.”
“Women don’t handle money well.”
“Women don’t make good decisions.”
“I’m not good with money.”
“I don’t handle money well.”
“I don’t make good decisions.”
Anything that’s got a charge over 10% will slow your Profitability down. And the higher the number, the bigger the effect it will have on you.
So did you have any high earners? Or do you have money issues that don’t seem to match up to what I had you say here?
I’d love to know. Just reply to this email and tell me what came up for you. (I read every email personally.)
One more thing. Just because you have an old rule in your subconscious does not mean you’re stuck with it.
Maybe it’s due to an outdated patriarchal rule rattling around in your subconscious.
Last week I talked about how internalized patriarchal rules have been slowing down the truly amazing women in my MVP Clubs.
Today I want to go a bit deeper on how some of those patriarchal rules have shown up in the Mindset area.
Mindset (The “M” in “MVP Club”) is the ability to see yourself as a leader, a real force in the world.
Watch the video to hear about how patriarchal Mindset blocks show up:
There are a number of blocks that might get triggered when you start to see yourself as a bigger leader which often come from patriarchal rules.
These patriarchal Mindset blocks can sound like:
“Who am I to …” want a bigger business / think I have anything to offer / believe people should work with me.
“I’m not allowed to be more successful”
“I have to do everything myself.”
(Any of those sound familiar?!)
One of my clients was really ready to hire a bigger team. She was burning the candle at both ends trying to do all the things in her business while still spending time with her husband and caring for her young kids.
She was exhausted.
She knew she needed to hire more people to grow, not just to meet the vision she had for her business but to get some time back for herself.
So why wasn’t she?
Well, she had a ton of reasons, like:
“I don’t have the time to train them.”
“What if I have to fire a new hire and start over? I’ll lose even more time.”
And “Nobody can do what I do as well as I do it.”
Realizing these “reasons” were excuses, she pushed herself to hire a couple of people. But that took all the energy she had.
And it wasn’t enough.
When we went looking for the subconscious success blocks getting in the way of hiring more people, what came up was a perfect gem from the old patriarchal regime—
“I have to make everyone happy.”
This is something that girls have been taught for generations is our job.
In some ways, it was the way we gained power. Keep others happy—especially men—so we would be necessary to them and they’d want to take care of us.
It was a brilliant strategy when power dynamics left us very few options.
But now that times have changed—when we can hold decent jobs and even run our own businesses—the old expectation that we’ll keep everyone around us happy is a real burden.
Look at my client.
According to her subconscious, the more people she hired, the more people she had to keep happy.
That’s a lot of emotional work. And she already had more than enough people to keep happy, thank you very much!
So we tapped and released the block.
Within a few weeks she hired more team members and got some time back for herself.
It was that easy.
So do you find yourself reluctant to hire someone? Or do you hold your business back in another area?
Let’s talk about what’s really going on with you—whether it’s an internalized patriarchal rule or some other subconscious success block. Just hit “reply” to this email and we’ll set up a time to chat.
I have something a little different to share with you this week—an on-air coaching session with my sales mentor, the incredible Nikki Rausch (a/k/a The Sales Maven), that we recorded for her podcast.
I talk a little about my background and how my life experiences and my desire to change people’s lives for the better led me to where I am today: getting rid of people’s subconscious blocks, especially for women and women entrepreneurs.
I also talk about the origin of my MVP (Mindset, Visiblity, and Profitability) solution for getting rid of blocks and the MVP Club I host.
And all of this is part of a great 1:1 sales coaching session.
Please listen-in on our conversation:
(You can also visit the page for my episode of Nikki’s podcast here.)
You’ll hear me talk a bit about the results my clients get, different ways I work, and about the MVP Club itself—small groups of women entrepreneurs and leaders in which we release what holds them back from their bigger vision using Tapping.
Then you’ll get Nikki’s great suggestions for filling small group programs like the MVP Club.
Nikki’s podcasts—and trainings, and books, and workshops, and give-aways—are always full of useful information on ways to sell without ending up feeling covered in slime.
Instead, she teaches how to sell as a service to others, always keeping your relationships with them the priority.
When you talk with her on Zoom, or meet with her in person (I’ve done both), you experience how truly genuine Nikki is. Even when you know that she has her selling hat on, you know that you are important to her, that she cares about you as a person.
And that’s the approach she teaches.
I belong to Nikki’s Sales Maven Society and have been privately coached by her. I highly recommend working with her, or at least signing up for her weekly emails.
Just know, if you do work with Nikki I won’t get anything except the satisfaction of helping you find an amazing resource for learning to sell.
And yes, I’ll be implementing what Nikki recommended when I open my next MVP Club in the fall.
In working with the women in my MVP Clubs to release their subconscious blocks, I’ve been uncovering something I never expected to find in 2021.
At least not to the extent I’ve been seeing it.
Watch the video to find out more:
These are really amazing women: speakers, writers, consultants, artists, financial advisors, coaches and more. Women who are solos and women running teams. Women who keep going despite struggling financially at times and women who make multiple six figures consistently.
No matter what they are doing or where they are in their journey, they feel called to do more. Have more. Be more. Have a bigger impact.
And along the way they’ve been slowed down by their number one nemesis.
More specifically, by their subconscious.
And what’s been coming up a lot lately in our sessions has been a thread that I frankly didn’t expect to see.
At least, I didn’t expect to see it in these accomplished, intelligent, highly educated, capable and successful women.
What we’ve been uncovering is a deep strain of patriarchal rules holding them back.
“I can’t be more successful than the men in my life.”
“Women can’t be leaders.”
“I’m supposed to be taken care of by a man.”
“I should defer to a man.”
“Men make better decisions.”
“Men are smarter—or more effective—or better than women.”
And on and on.
Don’t get me wrong! None of these women accept any of these ideas consciously.
Consciously, we all say “F*** the Patriarchy” with conviction. (We actually have fun saying that in the group. Especially with conviction!)
Consciously we can and do reject these patriarchal ideas.
But when we go digging for the reasons someone has been holding herself back from growing her team, or raising her rates, or reaching out to that potential partner, or moving forward with the next project, up come some of these old chestnuts that most of us consciously rejected long ago.
Then we tap to neutralize them so they can’t do any more damage.
If you wonder if you might have some of those patriarchal messages rattling around in your subconscious, ask yourself:
What messages did you get growing up about the differences between men and women?
Which of those messages did you laugh about when you got older?
Or get mad at?
Or vehemently dismiss, saying “Not me. NEVER me.”
You’d be surprised at how many of those found your way into your subconscious.
Where they may be holding you back.
Here’s the trick. If they are in your subconscious, you probably still get a bit… irked when you think of them. That’s how you know they’re still there.
Really, if you react with anything other than a light-hearted chuckle, they are probably having some kind of effect on you.
Slowing you down.
Like they’d been slowing down my MVP-ers. At least, before we tapped and released them.
So I’m curious. What was the message about men and women you heard most growing up? Drop me an email to let me know!
One of the most common questions I’m asked about EFT/Tapping is “How does it work?”
For the full answer, watch my video.
Here’s my abbreviated answer.
For a long time my answer was two-fold. First, I’d say no one really knows how it works, but I don’t care because I know it does andthere’s research that shows it is effective.
Second, there was research that showed acupuncture and acupressure, which use the same points as Tapping, send a message of safety and calm to the amygdala in the brain that interrupts old connections there that trigger emotional responses.
The research has advanced since then. Now it tells us:
• Tapping leads to the downregulation of the amygdala, including a measurable lowering of the stress hormone cortisol. (Kinda the same thing I was saying in the past about that message of safety and calm, but in a more academic tone.)
• The results hold after we stop tapping because of Memory Reconsolidation, a way to permanently change the emotional component of a traumatic memory.
This explains why Tapping is a great way to release Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and phobias, but it still doesn’t exactly explain why MY tapping works.
Watch the video for my best guess on why Tapping works on success blocks like clients’ money ceilings.
When releasing subconscious success blocks, I rarely work directly with specific memories anymore. Many of these blocks come from multiple messages and years of experiences in childhood, many of which were not traumatic.
Plus, I’ve found—and created—faster Tapping techniques to effectively and permanently release success blocks than going through memories, one after the other, to get rid of all their emotional content.
So, while I believe I am using Tapping to send the message of safety and calm to the amygdala (i.e., “downregulating” it), I don’t know that I’m doing “Memory Reconsolidation” to make the changes permanent.
I’m guessing that there is some sort of Memory Reconsolidation for ideas that’s happening in the brain.
So I’m back to saying Tapping works on my clients’ subconscious success blocks. I don’t really know how, but I know that it does.
I’ll have to wait for the research to catch up to me to explain it all with hard science.