Particularly when it comes to self-imposed obstacles—often rooted in long-held beliefs about what defines success and an individual’s perception of him- or herself—Linnerooth offers guidance and specific strategies to help professionals first identify, and then blast through, those difficulties.

The article was published just a couple of days ago—please check it out, and let me know what you think. Thanks Karlee for a fun interview and for writing about it!

1. Can’t remember the answer? Get more time.

Sometimes the block that comes up is just a temporary blip. For example, if you get a question you haven’t prepared for and your mind goes blank, you can say something like “I haven’t thought of that. Let me get back to you on that later in the interview.” Now you’ve bought yourself some time to let the adrenaline get out of your system so you can think.

Of course, you do have to give an answer before you leave. The only time it would be acceptable to get back to the interviewer with the answer after the interview would be if the answer were something which you reasonably needed to look up somewhere else.

2. Mind goes blank? Breathe in a way that triggers relaxation.

If you are in a situation that is more extreme—say, your mind goes blank, your heart races, and you can’t focus on what the interviewer is saying—you need something stronger to calm you down and get you back on track. The first thing to do is breathe.

I’m not making a joke. When we are threatened we go into flight, fight or freeze mode, which is the perfect response if you are being stalked by a tiger in the jungle. Since tigers rarely attend interviews, however, that response is counterproductive when you are trying to land a job. You need to shift your body away from survival mode where blood is leaving the thinking parts of your brain (to go help the big muscles in your arms and legs fight off the predator or run away) back into calm, rational mode. Deep breathing is a quick way to relax your body. Once your body is relaxed, you can access the parts of your brain that went off-line while you were looking for the exit.

Now just any old breathing won’t do in this situation. You need to do diaphragmatic breathing. Singers learn to breathe this way. So do people meditating. In fact, I’ve heard that at least one branch of the military teaches their folks to do this, too. They call it something tough like “power breathing,” and they teach it so their recruits will be able to think and do what they need to while under extreme pressure. If it works while bombs are exploding nearby or while you’re under attack by a sniper, it should work in an interview.

Here’s a great exercise to learn how to do it. Think of a tube going from your nose all the way down to your bellybutton. You are going to breathe in through that tube, sending the air all the way down. Don’t let your shoulders or chest move. (If you breathe up into your chest, you can actually make yourself more tense.) Breathe in through your nose on a slow count of three, hold it for a slow count of three, then breathe out of your mouth and nose on a slow count of five. That’s one breath. You can play with the numbers – maybe you breathe in for a count of four, hold it for three, and out for six. The point is, use a count that feels comfortable for you.

To do the exercise, do ten of these breaths. Great, now do it three times a day. A good way to remember to do it is to do the exercise whenever you have a meal. By the way, if you feel light-headed while doing this deep-breathing exercise, that means you are hyperventilating and getting too much oxygen. Just breathe normally for half a minute, then finish the exercise.

Why am I having you practice all this breathing? Well, it accomplishes two things. First, it relaxes your body. The more you teach your body to relax, the more it stays relaxed. That’s good for interviewing, right? Second, if you practice this breathing regularly, it will be easy to remember how to do it in an interview when you don’t want to have to think about it.

Of course, in the interview, you don’t want to be counting to yourself. You also don’t need to switch between breathing through your nose and your mouth. You just want to be taking deep breaths to calm yourself down in a tense moment. You should only need a handful of these deep breaths to notice that you are starting to calm down.

The beautiful thing about deep breathing is you can do it anywhere and no one is going to notice. You are just breathing. So is everybody else. It’s the ultimate stealth move in an interview.

3. Need to get more relaxed? Use invisible acupressure points.

Another great relaxation technique you can use during interviews without anyone likely to notice is pressing or rubbing on certain acupressure points (like acupuncture, it’s a way to use body-brain triggers but without the needles). There are number you could use, but I’ll give you the sneakiest one. Take your thumb, place it on the side of the index finger next to it at the base of the fingernail. Don’t go all Twister on me here. This is not a contortionist move. It should look like you are making an “O” with your thumb and forefinger, with the rest of the fingers gently curved and resting comfortably. Now do the other thumb and forefinger the same way. Place your hands in your lap and gently rub your thumb slightly in a tiny circle or back and forth. That’s it.

If you are sitting across from an interviewer with a desk between you, he or she is not likely to notice such a small move. But if what’s between your interviewer and your hands is a glass topped table, you might want to just hold your thumbs and forefingers gently but firmly in that “O” shape. That will give you some relief and there will be nothing for the interviewer to notice at all.

What’s happening is you are sending a signal to your brain that you are safe. It should relax you. I had a client who used to freak out in meetings and not be able to follow the thread of the conversation because she was so worried about what she was going to say. I had her do this little trick, and she started to relax and be able to contribute to her group. Not bad for one simple move.

Be sure to practice this several times beforehand so that you don’t have to think about how to do it when you are in the interview. You might also want to just start doing that “O” at the beginning of the interview even if you aren’t feeling stressed. That way you can reinforce your calm mode, and you won’t have to think about starting it if you do get a disturbing question.

But what if these aren’t enough?

These are great in-the-moment stress relievers for those times you are caught up short. They may be all you need to sail through your interviews. If you find that they aren’t enough to bring your stress down to manageable levels, you might consider working with someone to get rid of the triggers that are setting off your stress.

> If you would like to talk to me to see if we can work together to get rid of your interview stress triggers, please email me to set up a time to talk by phone or Skype.

Interview time!

So if this sounds like you, what can you do about it? Actually, there are plenty of things you can do.

In this post we’ll look at what you can do before the interview to set yourself up to walk in feeling ready for anything they throw at you.

In my next post we’ll go over some tools you can use during the interview if you find yourself rattled, losing your focus, or just not at your best.

1. Before the day of the interview: Start with the basic nuts and bolts of interview prep.

I’m not going to spend a lot of time telling you to “do your homework” but here’s a quick reminder anyway. Before the interview, you need to do things like:

• Do your research into the company, the interviewer(s), and the job itself. Use the internet, and LinkedIn especially.
• Get copies of your resume and a list of references ready to bring with you.
• Practice your answers to the obvious questions like “What were you doing during this gap between your second and third jobs?” and the canned questions like “What is your biggest weakness?”.
• Iron your shirt.

These are things you already know you need to do. The only thing I will say about these that might be new to you is to get them done before the day of the interview. If you are cramming for your interview on the day itself, you won’t have time to get yourself in the right frame of mind to present yourself in the best light. Other candidates who got everything done the night before will have an advantage over you because their stress level will be lower.

So what do you do on the day of the interview?

2. On the Day Of: Eat right!

That means don’t skip a meal. If you are going into the interview in the middle of the morning or afternoon, also have a snack beforehand. Make sure to include some protein in the meal or snack. When you do that, you won’t have your blood sugar spiking then crashing right in the middle of the interview, adding stress and distracting you.

3. Be sure you schedule more than enough time to get to the interview.

No, I don’t mean a couple of minutes. If you’re not planning to get there at least thirty minutes early, you are setting yourself up for additional stress. Hey, traffic happens. So do road construction delays, bus and train snafus, and parking problems. And for those of you who are typically ten minutes late to everything (you know who you are), you better plan to get to the interview forty-five minutes early. Being late for an interview can cost you the job all by itself.

By the way, don’t actually go into the interview that early. Just get to the building. The experts in the field suggest you walk into the company’s lobby and introduce yourself to the receptionist about ten minutes early. Trust them. They’re experts. Look forward to a few minutes of chill time in the car, the building lobby, or a nearby coffee place.

4. Getting focused and energized.

Now we get to the less obvious steps to take. Here you will have to think about what works best for you. Your end goal is to be calm, cool and collected in your interview. People have different ways of describing that state—focused, centered, energized. Figure out what you call it. Got it? Now, think of ways that you have gotten there in the past. I’ll give you some examples I’ve heard from clients:

• listening to relaxation CDs on the way to the interview;
• listening to heavy metal CDs on the way to the interview;
• doing meditation (not while you’re driving!);
• going for a walk;
• belting out showtunes;
• meeting with a friend;
• talking to your mother(!);
• working up a sweat (preferably before your shower).

Take some time to get this one right. What works for you may be on this list, or it may be something else. Try one method. Notice how you feel; how easy it is to do challenging things after you’ve done it; how long your focus lasts. Try another. Some, like meditation, may take practice so that they are easy to do when the interview actually arrives.

Now schedule your method of getting to your focused, energized state into the day of your interview. For instance, plan to go for a fifteen minute walk in the park before the interview. Or arrange a phone pep talk with your best friend for half an hour before the taxi picks you up. Heck, go ahead and schedule more than one activity. Go running before breakfast. Plug your favorite Beethoven symphony into the car stereo. Do a spot of meditation after you’ve parked in the building’s parking garage. Do whatever it takes to get that focus you need to listen to the interviewers’ questions and show them what you are capable of.

5. Don’t try to be “perfect”.

Finally, if you find yourself second-guessing your track record of past interviews, or expecting perfection from yourself in the coming interview, stop! Remember this: you cannot make someone hire you. They may have already decided to hire the CEO’s nephew, or to promote from within, and they’re only interviewing other people to make it look like they are being thorough. There will never be a set of perfect answers that get you hired. If you focus on preparing to give perfect answers you will build up your stress and erode your performance.

Instead, realize that the purpose of the interview is to see if there is a fit between you and them, not to get the job. You need to get answers about them as much as they need answers from you. To accomplish this you want to get your spoken and unspoken questions answered (“What is the path for growth in this position?” “Do I have a good feeling about working with this potential boss?”) and show them what you can do for them by giving them clear, thoughtful answers to their questions. Then, if there is a good fit, they will offer you the job. If not, they won’t. Either way, you will both be better off.

So, to recap:

1. Get done all that you can before the day of the interview so you can spend your time that day getting focused.
2. Don’t skip any meals, and eat something with protein in it before going to the interview.
3. Plan to arrive for the interview at least thirty minutes early. Get to the company’s lobby ten minutes before the interview.
4. Figure out what gets you focused and energized, then schedule it into the day of the interview.
5. Remember that your goal is to figure out if there is a fit between you and the company, not to be perfect.

If you do all these things and you still find yourself stressed out, you might want to take additional steps to figure out what is blocking you and root it out. This is something I may be able to help you with. Please email me to set up a get-acquainted call to see if we might work together to unblock your interview stress so you can shine in your interviews.

• Dentists
• Dogs
• Flying
• Thunder and lightning
• The dark
• Heights
• Being around people other than family (including speaking in front of groups)
• Specific places, like elevators, sports arenas, bridges, shopping malls,
• Spiders, and
• Snakes

public speaking: one of the top 10 phobias

The article gives all sorts of possible reasons someone might develop such an irrational fear. I’ve worked on a number of them. The interesting thing to me is that, no matter what someone is afraid of, what caused the fear, or how long it’s been tormenting them, the tapping I use can root it out.

I actually enjoy working with clients on their irrational fears. Usually, it doesn’t take very long to find out where the fear came from and get rid of it. We start by tapping on the thought of whatever bothers them — whether it is a critter, an activity, a place, or something else — and pretty soon their brain kicks up a memory that is related to their fear. Sometimes taking care of that one memory is all we need to do; sometimes there is more than one event that we have to tap on. Either way, I always enjoy that look of wonder on my client’s face when we finish and they can’t make themselves afraid of the thing that had given them the screaming meemies before, no matter how hard they try.

She was excited, got some great ideas for what to offer, started making plans, then suddenly her creativity just dried up. When I asked what was stopping her, she said she was afraid it wouldn’t make her any money. Since we had already looked objectively at the issue and recognized that spiritual growth is an expanding field with plenty of potential customers, I knew this was an emotional belief that was getting in the way.

When I asked who the fear sounded like most, she said her parents. So we tapped on her parents’ fears that you can’t make any money with that woowoo stuff. After about fifteen minutes, she could look at the fear in a detached way, knowing that it was her parents’ belief, not hers. Best of all, her creativity came back right away, along with her motivation to do what she needed to create her classes and get the word out to people who would love to take them.

This is a common outcome of tapping on such blocks. What was interesting to us was that other memories came up where she had heard of other peoples’ beliefs. We tapped on those too, even though she had not experienced those first-hand

This happens quite a bit. When you tap on the main source of a belief, other sources surface. It is important to tap on those messages, too, even if they weren’t originally addressed to you or if you only heard about them second hand. The fact that it came up while you were tapping means that you’ve internalized at least part of the message and it will slow you down if you don’t get rid of it.

So notice while you are tapping if other memories come up. Even if you don’t know how they are related to what you are working on, they are probably part of what is blocking you and need to be tapped away.

Get started.

Sometimes it can be hard to identify all the sources of your own emotional beliefs. If you could use some help identifying the blocks you have and rooting them out, email me to set up a get-acquainted session by phone or Skype. I want to hear what you are struggling with, then we’ll see if I can help.

By the way, if you are interested but cannot attend the November seminar, please email me to discuss whether individual telephone sessions might work for you instead.

Here’s the announcement that went out in a recent flyer.

Sponsored by Emmaus Counseling Center

www.emmauscounseling.net

Overcome Your Fear of Flying

A Seminar Series dedicated to providing you the tools and techniques to get you flying high

With the holidays rapidly approaching, many people are facing their upcoming air travel with dread. We are pleased to offer a series of three 90-minute classes focusing on a powerful new technique that has already helped many people around the world cope with — and often completely erase — their fear of flying.

In the classes we will use a powerful technique called EFT, or “tapping,” that involves tapping on acupressure points to release locked-in stress. Conventional approaches usually only manage to blunt the stress of fear of flying over the course of months, or even years, of work. Tapping can alleviate the fear in people of all ages in just a few hours or less.

We will work on different common aspects of a fear flying, like claustrophobia or feeling you are out of control, as well as the physical reactions people have like their heart pounding or their stomach clenching up. We will also work on reducing the fear specific memories of difficult flights may still bring up in you. Finally, we will go through all the steps involved in a flight, from buying the tickets to packing and driving to the airport through take-off and landing, using the technique on all the aspects of the flight that cause you stress.

In this seminar, you will learn the basic tapping technique to lower your stress immediately while on a flight, including some subtle tapping steps you can take in a cramped airplane seat without calling attention to yourself. In addition, many people get a significant reduction in their flying stress before they ever have to get on a plane, and some get over their fears completely.  And when the fear is gone, it’s usually gone for good — no more relaxation techniques or medications needed.

Your Instructor, Nancy Linnerooth, has taught tapping to many individuals and groups. She has seen the great relief it has brought to many, and in some cases witnessed her clients’ immediate relief from their fears. As an example, after just one group session, a client went on several flights and found her usually quite severe anxiety was gone except for a bit of apprehension during turbulence, which she simply tapped away during the flight.

She is very excited about helping people get over these sometimes lifelong fears. It can really change lives!

Location: Emmaus Counseling Center, 8290 165th Ave. NE, Redmond, WA 98052

Dates: Monday, November 1, 2010; Monday, November 8, 2010; Monday, November 15, 2010

Time: 6:30 – 8:00 pm

Seminar Fee: $160 for the series. (Please bring a check to your first session.)
The classes will be held in an intimate 10-person setting.

Get started.

Please e-mail me at nancy@unblockresults.com to set up a get-acquainted session over the phone or on Skype to see if I can help you get rid of your blocks to flying.

In the study, the girls were given something stressful to do. Then one-third met with their mothers and got hugs and soothing words, another third talked to their mothers on the phone, and the last group watched a movie. Levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, came down quickly in both sets of girls who had contact with their mothers but remained higher than normal in the control group throughout the experiment. In addition, oxytocin, a brain chemical that helps us feel good, rose sharply in the girls who interacted with their mothers but did nothing at all in the control group.

So what does this mean for you if you are not so young (or a girl, for that matter)? Well, the researchers seemed to think that the effects might hold across the board for young and old, male and female. In other words, if you had to give a presentation to the board, or just got yelled at by your boss, or something equally stressful, try calling Mom.

And, while I’m all for hugs, it seems that you don’t need them to get help with your stress level. So if you live in Boise and Mom has retired to Boca Raton, a phone call will still do the trick here.

All right, I know all mothers are not created equal. If yours is not the comforting sort but more of the keep-your-back-to-the-wall-at-all-times sort, don’t look to her to help you de-stress. Try someone else in your life: a Dad who is good at listening, an aunt who thinks you are the bee’s knees, or a spouse who can comfort instead of lecture. The closer the relationship, I’m guessing, the better the result.

Whoever you choose, you might want to let them know you don’t want them to do a post-mortem on what happened. You just want a kindly shoulder to cry on. Or someone just to tell you it’ll be alright. The clearer you are, the more likely you will get what you need.

Get started.

Please e-mail me at nancy@unblockresults.com to set up a get-acquainted session by phone or Skype to talk about what might be holding you back.

Finally, researchers have found some real evidence of a biological link between stress, anxiety and depression. The lead researcher, Stephen Ferguson, believes that the connection in the brain that they found explains how stress and anxiety can lead to depression. They are also hopeful that a molecule inhibitor they developed will lead to new and better drugs to treat anxiety and depression.

Of course, if you’re stressed, anxious or depressed, you aren’t going to want to wait for the drug companies to develop the new drugs. Get started doing some of the things now that help bring down the symptoms, like exercise, eating right and getting together with your friends and family. (Of course, if the problem seems overwhelming, get in to see your doctor or a therapist to get some extra help.)

Get started.

Please e-mail me at nancy@unblockresults.com to set up a get-acquainted session by phone or Skype to talk about what might be holding you back.

(1) If you toss and turn instead of falling asleep, tap before going to bed, saying “Even though I have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep, I deeply and completely accept myself, and I choose to relax completely and let my mind wander freely.” Say something like that 3 times while tapping on the karate chop point. Then do one round of tapping on each of the tapping points saying something like “I can’t fall asleep . . . I always wake up . . . the sleep apnea makes it impossible to sleep well . . . I can’t get back to sleep when I wake up . . . ” Use whatever bugs you most about your sleep issues. Then do a second round saying “I choose to relax completely and let my mind wander freely” on each point. Finally do one round where you switch back and forth — first the negative “I can’t sleep” statement on eyebrow point followed by positive “I choose to relax completely . . . ” on the side of the eye, and so on. As always, change my wording to fit what is going on for you.

(2) If you find yourself waking up then not being able to get back to sleep because your mind is getting stuck on something (food, work stress, not getting back to sleep), tap directly on that. Try: “Even though I can’t stop thinking about that report that’s due next week . . .” or “Even though I’m wide awake and I’m sure I’m going to stay that way until dawn and I’m pissed about it, I deeply and completely accept myself, and I choose to relax and let my mind wander.” Then do the 3 rounds like above — one all negative, one with just the choice statement, and one alternating between the two.

(3) Tap directly on whatever physical experience gets in the way of sleeping. Something like “Even though there is no way I will ever be able to sleep with this %*$# music from the neighbors making the walls shake, I deeply and completely accept myself and choose to be surprised at how quickly I stop even noticing it’s there.” Then try the 3 rounds as above. And, yes, if you feel like swearing about the problem, it helps to incorporate the swearing into the tapping. Swear with gusto for maximum effect.

I find when I can’t sleep, I really have to tap on being angry about not sleeping. It doesn’t matter whether I’m angry at myself, at my husband who is sleeping soundly while I’m wide wake, or at the universe for not making things go my way. If you find yourself getting angry at not sleeping, just tap on that anger even if it isn’t rational. (I know that the universe is not arranged for my comfort and enjoyment all the time). It’s much easier to let go of it if you tap on your anger than if you just grit your teeth and tell yourself to forget about it.

You may need to do whatever tapping you try more than once. But, really, if you’re not sleeping, what better do you have to do?

Get started.

If you would like some additional help figuring out how to use this tapping to get to sleep, please e-mail me at nancy@unblockresults.com to set up a get-acquainted session by phone or Skype to discuss your blocks.

While the research shows a correlation between the two types of conversations and the subjects’ relative well-being, I didn’t see that it proved that meaningful conversations cause happiness, or that small talk causes unhappiness. Perhaps happy people go out and have deep conversations on the meaning of life with their friends while unhappy people can only muster the strength to comment on the weather. Still, it might be worth trying to have some more meaningful conversations to see if that helps your mood.

And don’t forget, unhappier people spent more time alone not having any conversations at all! I suspect that it is better to have shallow conversations with people in your life than to have no conversations at all while sitting on your couch watching reruns of “Friends.”

Why am I mentioning this in a blog about stress? I’m making some assumptions here. First, clinical anxiety and depression often appear together. Second, many of the same things that can help you bring down depression — like exercise, eating right, and socializing — can also help you bring down anxiety. If having meaningful conversations actually helps you feel happier, then it may also help you feel less anxious. And, finally, if you are only stressed, not clinically anxious, then one change (like having deeper conversations) might have a powerful effect on your stress.

That’s a lot of assumptions. Still, different approaches help different people lower their stress. This one may just be the perfect fix for your stress. If not, you can always try another.

Get started.

Please e-mail me at nancy@unblockresults.com to set up a get-acquainted session by phone or Skype to talk about what might be holding you back.